Equations

And i hate dem equations. Agreeably, they r one of the most diabolical and fucked-up byproducts of the twisted and convoluted machinations of the human mind. They come a close third behind the atomic bomb and ,of course, that wrecker of a thousand million happy lives,religion.

But dats another post.

Since times immemorial mankind has felt a need to express equality between quantities. An understandable and simple need; one would think; no doubt. Initially them equations wer simple too. But wid time ,the equations slowly became more complicated and less and less elegant untill they attained their present, demoniac,nightmarish and completely fucked-up form of today.

The potency of an equation is directly proportional to its complexity. Ground breaking research has shown that linear equations with less than 3 variables are not dangerous. Linear equations with 3 or more than 3 variables but less than 6 variables can induce mild nausea, drowsiness,an urge to vomit and an strong sense of helplessness and frustration that may manifest in a variety of ways depending on the psychological state of the victim. Any linear equation with 6 or more than 6 variables can cause strong drowsiness, frustration, a tendency to lapse into day dreams, brain cell damage and a dramatic decrease in I.Q.

The most damaging and potent breed of equations are Diffrential Equations. A full fledged diffrential equation can cause death of thousands of brain cells per second. An obscure research group has even gone on to say that the primary underlying cause of degenarative dieseases like AIDS, Alzheimer's etc is actually over exposure to differential equations.

Since equations come under the Toxic Substances Act 1965, their concentration has to be regulated. A challenge to which the governments all over the globe have not responded at all.

Here are some rudimentary measures that can help you survive this fiendish and infernal creation of the human brain.

* Stay away from classes as much as possible(Applicable especially to engineering students). If ,however, u have to b in the class(dereg concerns, assignment submission, class tests..etc ) den the use of the last benches is strongly recommended. Try to listen as little as u can in the class. Try your best to think of everything except whatever the prof is talking about and ,most importantly, watevr u do, DO NOT LOOK AT THE BLACKBOARD/WHITEBOARD/PROJECTION SCREEN.

* If u ever see the book entitled "Aircraft Design" by Jan Roskam den DO NOT TOUCH IT. RUN AWAY FROM THE PLACE AND DO NOT LOOK BACK. IF U R IN AN ENCLOSED PLACE THEN MAINTAIN A MINIMUM DISTANCE OF 4 METRES. IF IT IS AN E-BOOK DEN IMMEDIATELY TURN OFF THE COMPUTER AND THROW IT OUT OF THE WINDOW. IF U R IN THE GROUND FLOOR THEN BRING A BIG HAMMER AND HIT THE COMPUTER UNTILL U R UNABLE TO LIFT THE HAMMER ANYMORE.

* If someone even as much as intonates the word "equations" near you then SLAP HIM/HER AS TIGHTLY AS POSSIBLE AND RUN AWAY.